To Have Negative Thoughts Is Human

...or at least, defining.

Dear Once Upon A Human reader, 

I have a dirty little secret to confess:

I may come across as a upbeat, sparkly human being — but don’t be fooled.

My most effective motivator? Pure, unadulterated negativity.

Let me explain.

When someone tells me I can’t do something, it instantly becomes my next KPI.

Every leadership role I’ve been passed over for has eventually led me to an even bigger one — powered purely by “watch me, darling.”

Seeing someone with less experience or expertise land a client, project, or stage? While charging more than me, and then delivering work that’s ridiculously subpar?

Cue the existential spiral and envious seething — and then the action plan.

“If they can do it, then what the hell am I doing with my life?” has fueled many a late-night work sprint.

Every time I see a faux expert spew rubbish in the spotlight — while the real, quietly brilliant experts in the audience nod politely, silently thinking “what nonsense is this?” — I die a little inside.

And that, kids, is how I met my why:

(By the by, that’s a How I Met Your Mother reference, for the non-TV watching set. I’m not calling you guys kids!)

So yes, beneath my rather bubbly exterior lies a petty little engine of spite and indignation.

Because, as it turns out, negativity can actually be wildly productive.

But here’s the trick: you have GOT to channel that angst into action — action that turns frustration into fuel, and pet peeves into purpose.

Otherwise, you’ll just end up the office Grinch grumbling about mediocrity in the pantry. (We have all met Karen. Don’t be Karen.) 

This negativity-based purpose-finding is an exercise I do with every 1:1 personal brand client — and in some of my workshops too.

In fact, it’s been so effective (and entertainingly cathartic 😅) that I’m thinking of turning it into a DIY workbook or course in 2026, so more people can work through it themselves.

Hit reply to this email and let me know your thoughts if you'd like to be the first to trial my DIY workbook!

If you have already broken those 2026 resolutions you made with full gusto in December. Or you’re feeling stuck in life, still finding your “why,” try asking yourself this:

👉 What irritates you most about your industry or community?

👉 What do you grumble about constantly? (If you’re unsure, ask your friends — they’ll tell you exactly what they’re tired of hearing you moan about, ha!)

👉 What makes you mutter under your breath, “Someone should fix this”?

Now: what if you were that someone? What would YOU do to fix it?

Because the best “whys” don’t always emerge from kumbaya epiphanies during meditative purpose retreats.

Sometimes, they’re born out of a little — or in my case, a lot of — righteous rage.

What do you think? Has negativity ever fueled your purpose?

With love (and some positive negativity),

Debbie

PS: Apologies for those holding your breaths for my newsletter updates (ha, I wish!) but this dispatch comes a week off-cycle as I was up to my eyeballs last week, literally, prepping for my Atypical Asia podcast launch. The teasers are up on our brand spanking new Youtube channel, and the first full episode drops in a few days. Subscribe to stick around for more!